Ray's X-Blog

Flying Saucer Xmas Xmas Day I’ll be doing more than just being stuck in my shoebox apartment, nowhere to go, waiting for the rest of the world to re-open the next day. “When Prophecy Fails” (1956) details how a group of various individuals believed that a great flood would destroy much of the world on December 21st. They waited for benevolent aliens – “The Guardians” - to come down in flying saucers and save them. The Guardians had been channeling messages through “Marian Keech,” a middle-aged suburban housewife. (The authors had disguised the names of people and places in their book. Apparently they didn’t want a major lawsuit from The Guardians.) The authors of WPF – Festinger, Riecken and Schachter – use the term “disconfirmation” to describe when a fateful date and time passes and a prophecy is unfulfilled. Keech and her fellow believers were disconfirmed a few times, especially when the great flood never happened. Before and after the fateful date they sought confirmation of ...

Shadow Watcher Image © 2008 Ray X Sometimes from the corner of your eye you can spot one of Them watching you. They like to hide in plain sight.

Xart For Xmas Do you xart? Xart (pronounced zart ) can be interpreted as an abbreviation for extraordinary art. It is simple, direct, easy to make. And cheap, an important factor this holiday gift season with the economy going down the crapper. Grab two or three odd items, slap them together, and then figure out the value added in arty terms. Take a pencil with a broken lead, glue it to a dead calculator, and call your work “Non-Computers.” There is also xartography. Snap a shot of a blank wall or another generally uniform surface. Don’t spend too much time thinking about the image. If you end up with a dull close-up snapshot, perfect! Remember, a plain plane is the pinnacle of pointlessness. Aren’t both holidays and high art just meaningless in the end? Call your work “Not A Wall.” Print it out on cheap paper. Show it to a college philosophy major and ask his opinion. Watch him drown in his own bullshit. Yup, xart can entertain you and keep your friends guessing. Just do...

A Toast To A Snarky Skepchick Are you a lonely male skeptic? Is science your religion? Do you sneer at anyone who believes, for example, that a few UFO cases might be something truly mysterious, extraordinary? And, more importantly, are you a cynical alcoholic on the way to the gutter? Well, I have a blog for you: http://skepchick.org/blog . I’ve never read this blog in great depth but from time to time I’ve checked out some of the posts. When it comes to the paranormal, I try to look at the subject from all sides. As with any field of interest, sometimes you have to deal with the personalities involved to extract some data, overlooking the opinion mixed in with the fact. The head skepchick, Rebecca, likes to blab on about “drinkathons” in Boston, Philadelphia, and New York City where fellow skeptics gather to put down various outlier beliefs while putting down lotsa booze. In a post entitled “Brilliant Idea: The 10-Minute Lecture” (11/20/08), Rebecca mentions that at one such m...

Chucklehead Leno Mocks CPAP Users “How is someone supposed to sleep while wearing that stupid thing?” Jay Leno laughed. Last week Leno, host of the Tonight Show , was in the middle of his Headlines bit, a segment where he jokes around about various news clippings. Usually Leno yuks it up by targeting bad headline typos, bumbling criminal stories and quack product ads. This time he was commenting about a magazine advertisement for a sleep apnea pillow. When he mentioned the ad, I assumed he was going to ridicule a dubious product that claimed to treat sleep apnea by itself. Leno held up a photo showing someone sleeping on his side, facing the camera, while wearing a CPAP mask. The pillow was shaped to make it easier for the man to wear the mask, unlike regular pillows. So what was the problem? From what I saw the pillow was a good design; it should work. Regular pillows are more apt to dislodge the facemask. But Leno didn’t want to comment on the pillow; he found humor in the mas...

Raelian Boobs Here we go again: another salacious news item from Saucer Smear zinester and sextraterrestrial, Jim Moseley. Sitting next to my computer is a news clipping from the Santa Fe Journal (8/24/08) about a topless protest held in a local park. (I would link to the online version but the SF Journal likes to hide information behind a pay wall. Hey, man, information wants to be free!) The article by Journal Staff Writer Raam Wong describes how the event unfolded the previous day. It was part of National Go Topless Day, sponsored by alien contactee Rael. Yup, when it comes to sexual controversy, don’t be surprise if Raelians are lurking about. As Rael surely knows, sex sells – or at least makes a good lure. Fortunately the Raelian web site, www.gotopless.org , doesn’t hide itself behind a pay wall (unlike a stupid newspaper I won’t name). The site states: "Our national inaugural Gotopless Day on August 23rd was a great success! We wish to thank all the participants w...

Hey! Where’s My Coronation? What’s this crap? March 23, 2004. Dirksen Senate Office Building. A bunch of pols show up to honor Sun Myung Moon as “King of Peace.” One conservative lawmaker handed the tax cheat and jailbird cult leader a crown on a pillow. And to top it off, Reverend Moon declared himself the True Messiah (move over, Jesus). So why does a loon like Moon get special treatment? Especially from so-called conservative politicians? Sure, a North Korean expatriate ranting against Satanic communism is an easy sell to the religious right crowd. But throughout his book, Bad Moon Rising , reporter John Gorenfeld mentions some of Moon’s other “conservative” beliefs: -- God spoke directly to Moon and said that Jesus screwed up, so it was up to Moon to save humanity. -- Various dead US presidents have communicated their approval of Moon from the other side. On their behalf Richard Nixon stated: “We resolve and proclaim Rev. Sun is the Lord of the Second Advent, the Messiah, ...

Smiley Face Murders: Pattern Or Coincidence? I don’t remember the researcher’s name or the title of his work, but one detail from his writing stuck in my mind. This researcher had a universal explanation to the causation of alien abduction stories. The experiencers, he stated, were sensitive to electro-magnetic radiation and this sensitivity triggered terrifying hallucinations. For example, he interviewed one self-proclaimed abductee and he knew his theory was correct when he spotted an electric power line right outside the man’s apartment window. Look outside your window. Most likely there’s a power line in view. Sometimes there are patterns that point to an underlying reality. Other times what appears to be a pattern is just dumb coincidence or the result of overlooking how ubiquitous a certain object or motif may be. Take graffiti. It’s everywhere, especially in secluded areas where taggers are less apt to be caught. And among the most common spray-painted symbols are smiley f...

Ray X Sells Out I always said I would sell out if the price was right. After years of printing an adless zine, followed by an ad-free blog, I’ve had enough of poverty. That’s why I am now the official spokesperson for Dr. Cheeseman’s Female Regulating Pills. I will only stand behind a product with a proven track record stretching over 170 years. Dr. C’s miraculous pill were invented in sometime in the 1830s, the exact date lost to history. Hey, if it worked back way back then, why not now? After all, consider all the fringe items that the Food and Drug Administration allows to be sold -- dietary supplements, magnetic soles, whatever -- that also claim relief. Let’s look at an ad from the Plattsburgh Sentinel newspaper, Thursday, April 5, 1866: Dr. Cheeseman's Female Pills Will immediately relieve without pain all disturbances of the Periodic discharge whether arising from relaxation or suppression. They act like a charm in removing the pains that accompany difficult or immoder...

Liar, Liar, Panties On Fire? ITEM: In Japan panties previously worn by schoolgirls are available in vending machines. That factoid was sent to me by Jim Moseley, perpetrator of the zine, Saucer Smear . He said that such a news item was too hot for Smear , a publication known for reproducing artwork depicting a man abducted by crypto-sexy aliens, ET females undressed for the occasion. Well, I’m Ray X, not Ray XXX. But I did investigate the vending machine story because I’m interested in urban legends and objective reality. The article Jim snail mailed me was a printout from snopes.com, a site that is supposed to weed out the crap from the candy when it comes to rumors. But after the Mr. Ed deal, I double-check anything that Snopes passes along. Mr. Ed was the star of a TV show called, appropriately, Mr. Ed . It was a half-hour comedy series about a talking horse and the problems he caused for his owner. This show harks back to the days of black-and-white broadcasts – a detail that ...

Cracker-Barrel UFO Stories Late at night. Sittin’ around the cracker barrel at the general store, swappin’ spooky stories about strange lights and weird critters. I’ve never had the pleasure of sitting in on such a get-together. But I do have a recording of a local radio program that featured such stories contributed by callers. The cassette tape is dated 08/08/06. After haunting my desk for a couple of years, I thought the time had come to write about its contents. Flashback: WIRY 1340-AM, Plattsburgh’s Hometown Radio Station, used to broadcast a weekly program called “Healthy, Wealthy, and Wise.” The co-hosts were Bob, a jovial WIRY DJ, and Gail, owner of the Crystal Caboose up there in West Chazy. Gail described the Crystal Caboose as a gift shop, bookstore, music shop and community meeting place all rolled into one. I’m guessing that one could find the right crystal for aura-tuning at her metaphysical resource center. Each week Gail and Bob would discuss a particular New Age...

Word Twisting Is Mind Bending Followers of Yahweh ben Yahweh know this to be true: the events described in the New Testament didn’t happen around 1900 years ago – they occurred in modern times. The word “new” means refers to something or someone who never existed. If you watch the TV program, The Universe of Yahweh ben Yahweh , you will learn that YbY is the Messiah, that his “judicial crucifixion” was predicted in the New Testament. In her book, Kooks , author Donna Kossy describes many different leaders and thinkers on the fringe. Spotlighted in the chapter Black Messiahs , the rise and fall of Yahweh ben Yahweh (AKA Hulon Mitchell, Jr.) from the late 1970s up to 1995 is detailed. His religious following grew into a financial empire with motels, food markets, and other real estate holdings in the Miami area. While such success exuded positive vibes, there was dark side to the Nation of Yahweh. The Messiah and some of his followers were charged with extortion and even murder. Wh...

Of Phlogiston and Aether, Cabbages and Kings Why does wood burn? Simple. It’s rich in phlogiston, that alchemical sulfurous spirit. Ashes are left behind when all of the phlogiston has been used up. Or scientific thinkers used to believe back in the 1700s. In his book, The Ten Most Beautiful Experiments (2008), New York Times science writer George Johnson shows how some scientific theories held sway until researchers empirically proved they were bunk. Through his experiments Antoine-Laurent Lavoisier provided evidence in 1777 to the Academy of Science that oxygen, not phlogiston, made things burn. Before he left the scene he introduced the concept of an invisible substance called caloric, a subtle fluid that acted as the carrier of heat. But James Joule disproved that idea during a presentation at Oxford in 1847. He demonstrated that energy, not caloric, was the force behind a horse pulling a wagon or a steam engine pushing a piston. Another concept that bit the dust was aether. ...

Roswell Crash: The Tragic Shame of Intergalactic Drunk Driving Image © 2008 Ray X As you can plainly see from the accompanying true image, I encountered a small sauced spherical saucerer lying in the gutter the other day. This afforded me the rare opportunity to find out what really happened in the Roswell, New Mexico area back in 1947. The tiny being tried to fly away using his anti-grav bio-field but he kept banging his head (that’s all he had for a body) into the curb. Knowing that for the moment escape was futile, he agreed to a short interview. The visitor – Ale the Ailing Alien – said he had been kicked out of an UFO for being too rowdy. He was told to “walk” back to Rigel. Between hiccups, Ale explained that ETs were coming to earth to enjoy the mind-altering pleasures of our alcohol-based concoctions. He explained that Roswell involved a gang of teen offworlders in their hotrod flying saucer who couldn’t handle terran firewater. They had morphed into human form and had hit...

Making Sense Out Of Alien Perception Aliens are around us but we don’t recognize them. An intriguing POV. Most people have to see something to believe it. But maybe we’re concentrating on the wrong sense. Why couldn’t an otherworldly being exist as sound? There’s the mysterious Taos Hum in New Mexico. Is a lonely ET trying to prick up our ears? Maybe aliens are odors, flavors, or tactile sensations. That odd smell barely detected, a subtle but peculiar taste from nowhere, a feeling without any visible actor touching. Moments just on the edge of our perceptions. Sure, it sounds crazy (no pun intended). But we’re talking about aliens , aren’t we?

Philip H Krapf: What Happened? Part One It looked like another contactee book but what caught my eye was a key word in the subtitle – The True Story of a Journalist’s Encounter With Alien Beings . Journalist? Now there’s a different angle. And since it was a book sale, the price was right: one quarter. So I picked up The Contact Has Begun . According to the back cover info box, author Philip H. Krapf plied the journalism trade for 30 years, from reporter to managing editor. Most of this career was spent at the Los Angeles Times . The photo accompanying the info box shows him wearing a dark hat and suit, very old-fashioned, formal attire. A man in black? Not really. Published in 1998, The Contact Has Begun describes Krapf’s abduction by aliens called Verdants. He scoffed at abduction stories – until it happened to him. Also, he considered himself an agnostic/atheist – until the aliens told him that they had scientific proof that God was real. In fact, the Verdants had visited...

Philip H. Krapf: What Happened? Part Two As explained in Part One, Philip H. Krapf was a journalist who claimed he had been abducted in June 1997 by aliens called Verdants. He was appointed a Deputy Envoy by the ETs. His mission was to write a white paper about his experience. That project ended up becoming his book, The Contact Has Begun , published in 1998. Krapf was retired from the LA Times . As he speculates in TCHB , maybe his abduction experience was related to being older with plenty of free time. Why would he undergo such personal paradigm shifts? His encounter changes him from a UFO skeptic who becomes a believer in aliens, announcing they’re here. Once atheistic/agnostic, he’s challenged that by the Verdants’s statement that God really exists and each being can live on after death. What I find fascinating are the parallels between his normal, earthbound life and his incredible relationship with the Verdants. I’ve never met Krapf and all I’ve ever seen is a headsh...

Confess, Chemtrailer! Image (C) Copyright 2008 Ray X Contrail or chemtrail? Condensation trails are formed by the wake of an aircraft, water droplets or ice crystals forming white vapor paths across the sky. Besides jet engine exhaust, contrails are also created from a sudden drop in air pressure and temperature around propellers and wings (wingtip vortices). Chemical trails – so say certain conspiracy theorists – appear to be contrails but in fact they’re loaded with much more than just water or ice. Speculation ranges from the spraying of chemicals as part of a mind control program to dispersing pathogens to keep population growth under control. Skeptics say that such spraying up so high in the sky is a very inefficient dispersal system and so it wouldn’t be used. Anyway, they add, chemtrails are just in the eye of the beholder. Nothing but contrails up there. Believers counter that chemtrails can be spotted. One way is the way they are laid out, forming patterns, including gi...

Illuminati: Where’s The Paper Trail? Smash the conspiracy. How? Exposure. Spotlight its inner workings. Reveal the conspiracy’s secret documents to the world, tangible evidence that negates the power of the conspirators. I don’t expect any official communiqués to pop up emblazoned with a special Illuminati letterhead. But with all the stuff the Mega-Conspiracy is accused of perpetrating and manipulating, you think someone would have a memo, decoded message, a bill of goods, something. How do you coordinate plans across the world without any paperwork? After all, it means more in writing. If there’s a question or disagreement, you can point at a paper. OK, all communications are oral. But why doesn’t someone have an audio or video recording when the Great Conspirators share the same air? With all the surveillance going on, you would think there would be at least one wiretapped conversation where the Illuminati is identified in no uncertain terms. And how do Illuminati recogniz...

Fortean Three: North Country Odd Events They say bad things happen in a series of three. Looks like odd events can follow that pattern. Recently the North Country – the corner of New York State where I live, hinterlands bordered by Canada and Lake Champlain – has popped up in the news of the weird and extraordinary. Someone saw a black panther in the Lake Placid area. Not an indigenous critter in these parts. According to an article in the Lake Placid News dated 4/24/08, Tsermaa Plumley thought she heard a bear prowling around their property on Schaefer Road in Keene. Her husband Dan investigated to see what kind of animal was in the compost. They were surprised to see a large alien black cat (or ABC to use the Fortean abbreviation). The mysterious black panther left; no one was harmed, just startled. ( http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/placid-panther/ ) The day before (4/23/08) WPTZ-TV in Plattsburgh reported that a local student videotaped an UFO at night. Mysteriou...

X-Rayed: Theresa Janette Thurmond Morris Theresa Morris believes she is an alien-human hybrid who possesses a special gene to fly extraterrestrial vehicles. She has strong memories of being abducted when she was very young by ETS. Before she was old enough to attend school, Theresa was given a ride on a UFO but she had to return home because her family was looking for her. The ETs dropped her off in an empty field. This experience – sometime between the ages of three and five – caused inner conflict. As she explains in her essay, Alien Civilizations Exist!, she knew she was loved and needed in two places, above and below. It was explained to her by the ETs that she had to be with her earth family for a while. Theresa observed: “I accepted my destiny as I was a small child and knew I had no choice.” She began school, fitting in with the normal children. A serious medical condition – a liver disease, Hepatitis A – threatened her life. She was very ill for a while, needing a comple...

Toilet Seat: Up Or Down? Leave it to chemical concocters and modern advertisers to come up with a solution to an age-old problem between men and women. Reader’s Digest magazine prides itself as being “ America In Your Pocket .” I hadn’t seen an issue for some time and so out of mild curiosity I picked up a copy I found tossed into the FREE BOX at the used book shop. The cover for the April 2006 edition of RD demonstrates real concern for the human condition. Headlines shout: -- Our Borders – WHAT’S AT RISK NOW -- Shocking! The New Threat to Kids -- ‘I CAN’T AFFORD TO GET SICK!’ Fixing Our Health Crisis Yup, this digest-sized magazine is loaded with digestible articles that offer pragmatic solutions to perplexing problems. And even the advertisers get into the act. That’s why there’s a full-page ad featuring a close-up of a toilet. The seat is still down. The copy explains: Earlier today YOUR HUSBAND WASN’T QUITE AS ACCURATE as he likes to think he is. In the lower right-hand cor...

Man: A Pattern-Seeking Animal Sitting out front at the downtown coffeehouse. I happen to look up. There it was: a message from Them. Decussated chemtrails. That grand display for my benefit initiated a series of messages. Looked at this strategically placed rubber glove. They knew I would spot their satanic threat against me, the invocation of the Great Horned Beast. The other day I noticed someone – actually something – was staring at me. It was a demonically possessed shovel. Evil eyes. Don’t believe me? Then how do you explain these images? Isn’t your brain hardwired to find patterns? X * * * X If you enjoy such eXtreme posts, have them emailed right to you. Use the Subscribe By Email service provided by Feedblitz, located in the right hand column of this blog.

Joe Bonomo: Straight Dope DON’T BE A DOPE Facts About Narcotics By Joe Bonomo and his staff of experts 64 pages; Bonomo Pocket Manuals (1966) Pull up a chair. Hollywood stuntman, body builder, and health expert Joe Bonomo wants to give you the dope on dope. Of course, Joe’s observations were made over four decades ago, but truth never changes, especially when it comes to the dope racket. Opium, heroin, and marihuana – all the same; they’ll kill ya. It’s been proven that marihuana leads to harder stuff. By itself it’s bad. Examinations of reefer addicts prove that the drug can shrink a brain as much as ten percent. But what’s the solution to stopping the narcotics epidemic? One answer: Early sex education. Improper sex training can cause kids to grow up to be troubled adults. A messed up adult is a prime target for an unscrupulous peddler. Narcotics easily push the user into a helpless decline, the slippery slope of drug orgies, loose morals, venereal disease, bad teeth –- and ...

Robo-Druggist Great. My drugstore has been absorbed by voice mail conformity. Instead of speaking with a human being, I have to make a refill via the keypad on my phone. I punch in my Rx number; the robot voice tells me that my prescription will be ready in two hours. Of course, when I show up at the drugstore at the proper time, my prescription hasn’t been filled. I explain that I used the “robot system” when I called. The pharmacist apologizes; the voice mail system is new. She mentions that she forgot to check the green box on her computer screen telling her the deadline for processing my order. Four other people had called before me and their prescriptions are also overdue. “So,” I joked, “you become a robot for a robot.” She smiled. “Here’s your refill. Not as good as a robot.” “Better,” I observed. “Robots don’t smile.” I didn’t add that human beings are more responsive; information can easily be gained from one. I learned from the pharmacist what to do next time when I c...

CPAP: Whoopee! With a CPAP unit, one question must be answered: what kind of plastic rig do I want strapped on my face? One mask just covers your nose. The increased air pressure to keep sleep apnea under control is pumped in through your nasal passages. Works OK if you don’t open your mouth, allowing the pressure to weaken. A chinstrap is supposed to keep your mouth shut, but it also causes the nose mask to slide around more and leak. Such leaks are called “farts” by CPAP users. Indeed, it does sound like a small whoopee cushion when the air slips out from underneath the flexible membrane seal. Try sleeping with a whoopee cushion on your face making rude sounds. The other option is a full face mask that covers both your nose and your mouth. The upside is that even if you open your mouth while sleeping, air pressure in maintained. The downside is there is more area to slide around and leak. A bigger whoopee cushion. Before I could replace my old nose mask, I had to use a full f...

POMIBs? The mystery deepens. A while ago I wrote about a letter to Jim Moseley, writer/editor of the zine Saucer Smear, that had been returned to me because it was allegedly “undeliverable.” There was no reason for the letter to be sent back: it was properly addressed and stamped. Jim checked with the post office on his end in Key West, Florida. The postal official said that someone made a mistake. Some time after that incident, Jim called me and let me know that he had received an undamaged letter from saucer cartoonist Matt Graber inside the standard plastic bag with the note from the PO apologizing for damaging the item. The first time I wrote about this postal strangeness, I speculated that men in black (as in human government spooks) were embedded in USPS, keeping track of saucer fiends. Yesterday I can across an item at ufomystic.com by Greg Bishop, talking about some weirdness he encountered with his snail mail communications with abduction researcher/writer Karla Turner befo...

An Appropriate Date Today is my birthday. Actually it’s a birth date that I picked for myself. Since no one can pick the day they’re actually born, I believe everyone has the right to choose a second birthday – a B2. From what I’ve quickly Google-gathered ( Wikipedia and Snopes ) April 1 used to be associated with the first day of spring and the New Year. All of that was changed when the calendar was changed from Julian to Gregorian in the 1500s: January 1 became the day to mark a new year. There are a few ideas about the origin of the April Fools Day. According to one bit of speculation, a person was a fool when he still thought April 1 marked the New Year. Neighbors would stop in to his home on that day, acting as if it was New Year’s Day. If he fell for the trick, then he was appropriately labeled. (Lots of yuks with those French peasants, eh?) Me, I’m more concerned about the spring aspect of April 1. Around here January 1 is the dead of winter. April 1 makes more sense t...

Railroaded “Hey, it’s Tootle !” A few years ago an acquaintance was browsing at the secondhand bookshop when he made a notable find. It was a copy of a children’s title that he enjoyed as a kid, a Little Golden Book dating back to 1946. The acquaintance, in his early twenties, wasn’t alive when the book became popular. Even though Tootle was the creation of the World War II generation, he still had fond memories; something about it resonated with him. Flipping through the book, he talked about how it told the story of an anthromorphic baby locomotive, Tootle, who wanted to grow up to be a big locomotive. Tootle was an eager student at engine school in the village of Lower Trainswitch, but he had a problem: he liked to wander off the tracks. The acquaintance bought the book, happy to rediscover a childhood treasure. Yesterday evening I came across another copy of Tootle at the secondhand bookshop. I picked it up for three reasons. 1: It was cheap. 2: I’m always been intrigued b...

Forcing The Issue Are you sports minded? That question was asked in a classified newspaper ad. A company sought sports minded people for employment. When someone went to the interview, he discovered an insurance company had placed the ad. So what does an interest in sports have to do with selling insurance? Simple. Strike up a conversation with a stranger about the latest big game, win his confidence, and then work your way into a pitch for updating his insurance with a new policy from your company. Are you Stars Wars minded? Submitted for your approval: a little booklet called The True Force , published by the American Tract Society of Garland, Texas. This item was lost in my debris collection until it recently reared its head. Copyrighted 1999, it talks about Star Wars , mentioning that Episode One, The Phantom Menace , has re-ignited interest in the movie series. On the cover is a light saber battle scene that does catch the eye, especially the attention of a young kid. I re...

Dinosaur Boy (Click on image for larger view.) I would like to give credit to the photographer who created this image but his name is missing from the back of the postcard. The location is listed: Hall Of Late Dinosaurs, The American Museum of Natural History, New York, U.S.A. I can only guess at the date when the photograph was taken. The oversized postcard was never mailed; ergo, no cancellation date. I would guess sometime in the 1960s. It’s obvious that the tyrannosaurus skeleton was put together by the old school of fossil experts. The skeleton shows T. Rex standing erect, tall, menacing. Nowadays the paradigm is that he ran around with his body pitched forward, tail sticking almost straight out. Sorry, that doesn’t impress me. That slumped forward appearance makes him look like some glam rock star camping it up on stage, shaking his butt. Then again, when I was the same age as the boy in the picture, I was disappointed when I saw a tyrannosaurus skeleton in a museum up in ...

USPS MIB? Uh-oh. My letter to Supreme Commander James Moseley, perpetrator of Saucer Smear zine, was sent back to me. Attached to the envelope was the label: RETURN TO SENDER UNKNOWN REASON UNABLE TO FORWARD I double-checked the envelope. The address was correct; the proper amount of postage was affixed. Did this mean that Jim evolved to a higher level of being (to borrow a phrase from the Heaven’s Gate cult) with an forwarding address? Or maybe he was upset because I wouldn’t reveal my true identity and he decided to cut all communications. (Then again, maybe Ray X is my true identity.) A quick phone call revealed that Jim was OK. He was as mystified as I was why my letter was returned. Maybe, he speculated offhandedly, it was a conspiracy. A man in black lurking within the bowels of the postal system, screwing around with my mail? (Maybe that’s why I didn’t get any valentine cards this year.) Maybe. MIBs could be everywhere. After all, Mac Tonnies has mentioned at his bl...

A Child’s Right To Be Left Alone Were you a persecuted leftie when you were a kid? I was. My parents made me favor my right hand, especially with writing and drawing, even thought I was naturally a leftie. The other day I was talking with my eye doctor and he asked me if I was right- or left- handed. When I told him how my parents had trained me, he commented that they had to be Roman Catholic. He was right. Someone else might have offended by his comment but I wasn’t. He mentioned the word “sinister.” He didn’t have to explain the connection. According to the dictionary, “sinister” has its origins with ancient augurs. The left hand ended up meaning bad luck, though originally it was associated with good luck. As explained in Webster’s New World College Dictionary (4th Edition): “Early Roman augurs faced south, with the east (lucky side) to the left, but the Greeks (followed by later Romans) faced north.” Because of this, sinister ended up being associated with left hands and bad...