Monday, January 28, 2008

A Child’s Right To Be Left Alone

Were you a persecuted leftie when you were a kid?

I was. My parents made me favor my right hand, especially with writing and drawing, even thought I was naturally a leftie.

The other day I was talking with my eye doctor and he asked me if I was right- or left- handed. When I told him how my parents had trained me, he commented that they had to be Roman Catholic. He was right.

Someone else might have offended by his comment but I wasn’t. He mentioned the word “sinister.” He didn’t have to explain the connection.

According to the dictionary, “sinister” has its origins with ancient augurs. The left hand ended up meaning bad luck, though originally it was associated with good luck.

As explained in Webster’s New World College Dictionary (4th Edition): “Early Roman augurs faced south, with the east (lucky side) to the left, but the Greeks (followed by later Romans) faced north.”

Because of this, sinister ended up being associated with left hands and bad luck – and evil.

By forcing me to favor my right hand, my parents were preventing me from being “evil” as such.

I’ve heard that such forced training can cause dyslexia. I don’t suffer from that, at least with words, but I do have a tendency to flip around numbers, e.g., 82 becomes 28.

And when I’m tired or distracted, my left and right sides get mixed up. Cross your arms, putting your hands in reverse position. That’s what it’s like for me when I’m not completely focused. For example, I’m driving a car and someone tells me to make a right turn. So I make a left turn.

I blame it all on The Cult of Dexter.

Dick Farley’s Probe

Did you know that Barney Hill was anally probed during his apparent abduction by aliens?

That’s the claim made by writer Dick Farley in his article, “Update: Report on ‘Roswell’ Saucer Spin Camouflaging Involuntary Human Experimentation,” published at . Fortunately, Barney’s wife, Betty, was spared from the free colonoscopy. Farley says that there were no aliens behind the Hills’ abduction. It was really an elaborate deception by the US military as part of its secret psy ops and medical study program.

Farley conjectures that Barney – because he was black – was an unsuspecting subject injected with plutonium by racist government agents. The anal probe was a way to check a stool sample to see the amount of chemical or radionuclide traces being excreted.

Me? I think it was aliens, trying to promote their intergalactic health care system.


Ymir, Morpheus, & The Mask

Obviously I haven’t been posting much lately. This hasn’t been a mild winter like previous years. Ice, snow, cold. The frost giant Ymir has slain the land. Winter drains me more than any blazing hot summer.

I laughed the other day when I saw an article about how some people suffer from a post-holiday letdown. As readers of my anti-Xmas tirades are aware, I don’t have to worry about any such letdown.

No, it’s just “cold white misery” (to use artist M.C. Escher’s phrase) that’s been driving me into hibernating. Long periods of cocooning in bed, wrapped up in warm blankets. I feel alert for a while but my vigor soon wears off; grogginess hangs over me.

Even using my C-PAP unit with its damn mask isn’t making a difference. So this lethargy is obviously more than sleep apnea preventing a good night’s rest.

I have plenty to say but not the energy to say it. Looks like I’ll have to write short posts and leave the longer articles for springtime.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Missing Words, Missing Bolts

[Fair Game: My Life as a Spy, My Betrayal by the White House By Valerie Plame Wilson (Hardcover) --Simon & Schuster (2007)]

Redacted words, sentences, even whole pages. Heavy black lines on a rampage. Why? National security.

After all, the CIA can’t allow Valerie Plame Wilson to write an autobiography without its overkill oversight. Of course, the same spineless buttkissers will let the White House get away with outing one of its agents, i.e., the author.

It’s all about secrecy. Or should I say politics?

Dirty politics. Of the Rovian kind. No hard proof that Karl Rove was one of the perpetrators of Plame’s exposure but knowing his reputation… Anyway, Karl is no longer lurking in the halls (or dungeons) of the White House, is he?

How dirty did it get? Once again, Plame doesn’t have hard evidence, but…

Check out pages 250-252. Plame and her husband Joe Wilson get audited by the IRS. No reason, according to their accountant, why their file would be red flagged. Sounds Nixonian, enemies list and all that.

And don’t forget all the antics with dirty tricks. Plame details the incident of the missing bolts. One day a groundskeeper noticed some bolts were AWOL from the upper deck on the side of her house, a deck about fifty feet in the air. It wasn’t like the missing bolts fell to the ground; they weren’t around at all. These were large metal pieces. Not easy to misplace.

Plame contacted the owner of the firm that rebuilt the deck the year before. He was alarmed, telling her to stay off it. Plame thought it doubtful the workmen forgot to properly secure the supports. So what happened with the bolts? Who knows?

And if the missing bolts had remained unnoticed? Too much weight on the upper deck during a party and oops!! What fun. Potentially fatal fun.

Maybe there’s The Fun House inside The White House.