Flying Saucers In The Air, On The Air
George
Apple and his family get away from the rat race by moving to a small
town in Iowa. Everything is normal until one day George sees a UFO
and reports it to the local newspaper. Soon he and his family became
the target of ridicule.
But
George is determined to prove he's not another flying saucer nut. He
digs deep and discovers the strange object is part of a secret
government project.
He
learns the time and location of the next test of the futuristic
vehicle. George invites along a skeptic who soon learns what George
saw was no hallucination. George turns to the skeptic and says:
"You're a down-to-earth man..."
(Insert
gagging sound.)
Thus
wrapped up the episode "The Witness" from the "Apple's
Way" TV series (1974-1975.) Another example of how a mainstream
series would introduce the flying saucer topic but then cop out with
an earthly explanation. Fiction: OK. Science fiction: Nyet!
(Note:
George Apple (portrayed by Ronnie Cox) earned a living as an
architect. No evidence exists if he ever shared his UFO encounter
with David Vincent.)
Back
in the 1940s-1950s when radio was the popular medium three series --
mainstream ones, not SF anthologies -- would each dip for one show
into the flying saucer controversy. The topic was leading news in
the press and so it provided a different story background.
When
the topic is introduced during each story it's scoffed at,
embarrassing even to mention. Two separate action/adventure series
had a tough guy hero who scorned investigating such nonsense.
"Dangerous
Assignment" (1949-1953) followed the adventures of Steve Mitchell
(portrayed by Brian Donlevy), a US special agent who travels around
the world under the direction of his boss, "The Commissioner."
In the
episode "Investigate Flying Saucers" [1] Steve Mitchell has
to cut short a drive in the country with a hot redhead when The
Commissioner calls him in. Steve is annoyed to hear the assignment
involves flying saucers.
Steve:
"Now don't tell me you're going to give me a Buck Rogers ray gun
to shoot them down."
But
Steve goes to South America to find out why private cargo planes are
missing, the last report from each pilot mentioning a flying saucer
before radio silence.
He
takes a night ride in one of the cargo planes when a flying saucer
appears. Suddenly the pilot is knocked out but Steve is able to land
the plane. He suspects the saucers are coming from the ground, not
outer space.
Following
clues Steve learns the saucers are actually rockets with fireworks
attached to the bottom of the cargo planes. Sorry, no gray aliens.
As for the passed out pilot he was in on the scheme, faking his
unconsciousness.
Apparently
a revolutionary group is trying to scare off planes flying over its
secret airstrip. And what better way to avoid attracting any
attention than phony flying saucers and missing cargo planes?
And
then there's another two-fisted American agent, David Harding,
Counterspy, whose radio adventures included a flying saucer caper.
Counterspy
was sponsored by the "energy drink" Pepsi-Cola, the
announcer spelling out the product's name P-E-P-S-I-C-O-L-A. Not to
be confused with another popular soft drink with a dubious original
formula.
The
program mentions Counterspy special reports to the American people.
The announcer details another special report to the American people
by United States Testing Company Incorporated, a glowing tribute to
the benefits of Pepsi-Cola. No mention of the crash after the sugar
high or cavities.
In the
"The Case of the Soaring Saucer" [2] David Harding is
conducting an operation against narcotics smugglers based in Mexico.
One action stops two million dollars worth of the original Coca-Cola
-- oops, I mean plain old snow-- and results in the deaths of two
smugglers.
But
the head of the smuggling operation isn't too upset about his bust.
He has found a modern/futuristic way of getting the drugs across the
border. Do I need to mention the method of transport?
Harding
is contacted by an Army Air Corps officer who shows him what a pilot
shot down: a man-made radio-controlled saucer with a concealed
narcotics compartment filled with white stuff. Harding observes that
the smugglers were using psychology, using the most publicized thing
to cover up their illegal operation. Of course flying saucers, even
phony ones, wouldn't attract any attention, especially to the Army
Air Corps, right?
Besides
the aforementioned action/adventure series the flying disc topic
dropped during an episode of the comedy series "Fibber McGee and
Molly" about a working class couple. The series starred real
life couple Jim and Marian Jordan who also created the sit com. It
was annoyingly sponsored by Johnson's Wax Company and its astounding
"Glo-Coat" product for floors.
"A
Flying Saucer Lands In McGee's Yard" [3] opens with the narrator
talking about the discussion over flying saucers, the pro people
swear they have seen them, the con thinking it's some sort of mass
hypnosis. Then he introduces one of the con men, Fiber McGee, and
his wife Molly.
Fibber
and Molly are debating whether or not saucers are real. Molly says
the objects have been seen by pilots who are trained observers.
Malapropistic Fibber scoffs, says all sighting are a mere "pygmy"
of imagination.
When
Fibber and Molly are leaving their house with a friend a strange
whirring sound is heard with accompanying metallic crash noises. All
three are astounded to see a flying saucer in the front yard.
A
crowd gathers. One visitor turns out to be a Johnson Floor Wax
salesman who says the saucer proves their is interplanetary life. He
dreams about expanding his territory to other planets like Mars. He
goes into a pitch about Glo-Gloat. How's that for annoying product
placement? At this point I was hoping the saucer would open up and
a Martian heat ray struck down the salesman. So how protective is
your Glo-Coat now, Mr. Carbon Stain On The Sidewalk?
A
little girl shows up and once again an earthly but abysmally dubious
explanation even for a comedy show is given for the saucer. She and
her friends made the saucer with skyrocket fireworks and her mother's
old roasting pan.
After
the incident the mother might have punished her troublesome daughter
by washing out the little girl's mouth with Glo-Coat. (Then again
among all the other amazing claims Glo-Coat might prevent cavities.)
[1]
[3]
https://archive.org/details/FibberMcGeeandMolly1950/500328_Flying_Saucer_Lands_In_McGees_Yard.mp3
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