Norway Spiral: What Really Happened
Image: Anita Olsen/AP
Scene: Monitoring center deep underground, manned by agents codenamed "Wally" and "Beav."
MIB #1: "Damn, it's all over the Web. Videos, photos."
MIB #2: "Huh?"
MIB #1: "They're calling it the Norway Spiral. Leave it to those idiot ETs to open up a hyperspace aperture over there at night. Cripes, look at the detail. Seen for miles."
MIB #2: "So what do we do, Wally? We have to cover this up."
MIB #1: "Let's check the Phil Klass CUE files on the computer."
MIB #2: "CUE?"
MIB #1: "Cover Up Explanatory files, ya dope. OK, here we go. Test missile goes off course, spews rocket propellant off at an angle, creating a spiral pattern. Bluish color - tiny sapphires - sunlight bouncing off aluminum oxide -"
MIB #2: "Sunlight? But this happened at night."
MIB #1: "Yeah, but there's enough science junk in here to throw the public off. Well, the Ruskies owe us a favor so get them on the horn."
MIB #2: "Gee, we're going to say it was a Russian rocket?"
MIB #1: "That's what we're here for, ya goof."