Sunday, December 24, 2006

The Purple Elephant In The Room

Just in time for the Xmas holiday: there has been some debate on a couple of other blogs in regards to religion and faith. Well, such issues need a unique perspective and so I telepathically interviewed that Ultra-Deity Pachyderm, The Supreme Supreme-O, Purple Elephant. He appeared in my living room for a short chat about the Meaning Of It All.

Ray X [RX]: What is existence?

Purple Elephant [PE]: Existence is vaudeville. Death is a cream pie in your face.

RX: What is the purpose of existence?

PE: Leave it to you humans not to appreciate a good thing. Most of you are doing OK, but you have to look for a hidden meaning in the universe. Everything has to be a little bit better; it can’t be taken at face value. You act as if you’re consumers trying to hunt down the best deal. Only humans would look for “value added” with reality.

RX: But people can’t accept that senseless things happen at times.

PE: So don’t make “sense” out of it. Shit happens on every scale: sub-atomic, personal, cosmic. Why worry about something you can’t change or control?

RX: It seems that you’re saying that everyone has to be self-centered, each individual should watch out only for himself.

PE: Sure, be self-centered. You’ll sink yourself with everyone else in the rowboat. If you humans spent more time pulling together and less time trying to push yourselves apart, you wouldn’t be looking for deeper meaning in the toilet universe. You’re all just one flush away from non-existence.

RX: That fact is supposed to reassure us?

PE: Hey, it works for me. Got any beer and pretzels?

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