As detailed in a previous post, I sent a copy of an article I found on the Web that I thought James Moseley, perpetrator of the zine Saucer Smear, might find to be of interest. It dealt with an X-ray of an injured duck that seemed to show an alien face within its gizzard. This shocking find was made by the staff at the International Bird Rescue Research Center in California.
After Moseley published his take on the item, he sent along another article about the same incident, this one written by Peter Fimrite of the San Francisco Chronicle. Moseley added this handwritten note:
“This version beats yours in one respect –- see third page. Unfortunately, I didn’t read that part of the story till it was too late to use it for “Smear.”
“I dare you to use it in your next issue. Wheee!”
So here’s the paragraph that the Supreme Commander has dared me to print:
Unusual characteristics are commonly on display among male mallards during the spring mating season, according to Travers. [Maria Travers, assistant rehabilitation manager.] Their testicles, for instance, grow to three times the size of their brains, but they have never been known to sprout an alien head, she said.
Sorry, Supreme Commander, but I don’t regard that bit of duckism as being so shocking. Look at most human males. No, their testicles don’t grow three times the size of their brains, but they sure act that way.
Saucer Smear on the Web