By
coincidence the two movies I watched the other evening each featured
the title character trapped in ice.
The
Thing From Another World (1951.)
A remote arctic research station detects the crash of an unusual
object. Upon investigation they discover an alien being encased in
ice. Somehow the men are able to carve out a coffin-sized ice block
to bring the creature back to their base.
Uh-oh.
Quibble time. How did they dig underneath the alien Popsicle to
create the block, especially with a bad storm on the way limiting
their time? How did they raise the block to fly it back home? Did
someone crawl under, carving away without the ice falling and
crushing him?
At
the base the frozen ET is stored in a cold room. OK, the monster has
to get free or watching an ice-encased alien just sitting there gets
boring really quick. How a delayed reaction by a damaged heating
device on the alien, melting him free?
No,
they have to use the "I didn't know the electric blanket was
still on when I threw it on the ice block" gag. And what adds
to the nonsense is a soldier sitting around eight feet away from the
melting block, his back turned towards it so it can't see what is
happening. But he should hear the dripping water and ice hitting the
floor. That had to be an damn interesting magazine he was reading
(or in the case of Playboy was staring at.)
Now
the alien supposedly has superior intelligence but acts like the
Frankenstein Monster on a bad day, limited smarts and poor
self-control. He does show some cunning but it's more like an
animal, not a high IQ being.
Contrast
this plot with another movie, Queen
of Blood (1966), in
which unsuspecting Earthmen rescue an alien who has crashed on Mars.
She looks generally human but is unable to understand our language
like the rampaging alien in The
Thing. She
just plays along until she needs an oral hemoglobin fix.
So
the thing in The
Thing could've
acted rational, waiting for the chance to kill off the humans at an
opportune time. But nooooo, he has to stomp around and rage like
Donald Trump with a bee in his ass.
This
movie features the stereotypical scientist who wants to communicate
with the supposedly superior intelligence. Yup, you can reason with
monsters in the middle of a destructive spree. This reminds me of my
short story, Gandhi
Meets Godzilla, in
which Gandhi stages a sit in front of Godzilla, passive resistance
and thoughts of peace all ground into a bloody group pulp.
Next
up was Captain
America (1990), a
direct to video wonder. It's easy to pick on this cinematic train
wreck but I have to say a few parts showed potential and the actors
did a decent job with what they had. Once again a cheap budget and
rewrites ruin an endeavor.
Like
the Marvel comics Captain America returns decades later after being
on ice, seeing his girlfriend now a married middle-aged woman. The
man out of time angle was used in the later MCU movies but this movie
handled it almost as well.
But
what kills it is the stupid nonsense that you wouldn't accept in a
comic book. For some reason the producers decided that Cap should be
put out of commission on his very first mission during World War II
so when he returns the public is unaware of his existence.
Cap
parachutes into action, breaking into the stronghold of the Red
Skull. In this version the Red Skull's appearance is over the top,
too bloody awful. According to the director he decided to drop that
look for the rest of the movie because the audience would get sick of
looking at the Skull's horrible visage. This results in another
change from the comic books that will add to the movie's faults.
The
Red Skull defeats Cap and ties him to a rocket aimed at the White
House. He sends Cap off on a one way trip. Meanwhile a young boy
sneaks out at night in Washington, DC to take some shots of the
Skull's target.
The
young boy spots the rocket heading towards the WH and despite it
being so dark, his lens being too short, and the rocket being too
fast he gets a shot of Cap on the rocket. The rocket misses the
White House thanks to Cap banging and twisting one of its fins with
his foot.
Later
the boy shows his friend an enlarged photo of Cap on the rocket as it
flew over. OK, I'm familiar with photography, especially film
photography, and I want to know what kind of super-fine grain film he
was using that was so sensitive he could used a fast shutter to
freeze the image in the dark. I mean did he shoot with Kodak
Tri-XXXXXXX with an ASA of 400,000?
As
in the comics the rocket crashes into the arctic. Cap falls into
suspended animation until his body is freed decades later and he
lives again.
He
learns the Red Skull is still alive but with a new look. In fact his
name should've been Reddish Scarface. No explanation is given to the
absence of the gory head casing. Maybe it dried out, scabbed up, and
then fell apart.
The
Red Skull now operates like a Mafia godfather. I forgot to mention
he's now Italian with the typical gun-toting thugs at this command.
(Any tie in with the Red Brigades?)
The
actor portraying the Red Skull, Scott Paulin, doesn't ham it up like
Joseph Culp as Dr. Doom in the unreleased Fantastic Four (1994)
movie. And I have to give credit to Matt Salinger as Captain America
for some good acting even though the character is made to look stupid
a couple of times in the film. For example after Cap takes out an
opponent he smashes the third wall, giving the viewer a goofy smug
smile.
This
production obviously suffered from its cheap budget. In an interview
Salinger said the production kept running out of money. His Cap
uniform was made of rubber and while filming during the hot weather
he almost passed out. After a scene was done he would removed the
oversized red boots and pour out the accumulated sweat water.
Oddly
enough the producers spent some money on the audio with Dolby Stereo
Spectral Recording. I experienced the film with my tablet and ear
buds but the sound was pretty good. There's nothing like hearing a
car racing inside your head from left to right.
You
can watch both The
Thing From Another World and
Captain
America
for free online. The first film is available at archive.org
commercial free and the latter can be found on YouTube with annoying
ads to be skipped.
And
don't forget: Watch the skies.
