Sunday, December 14, 2008

Xart For Xmas

Do you xart?

Xart (pronounced zart) can be interpreted as an abbreviation for extraordinary art. It is simple, direct, easy to make. And cheap, an important factor this holiday gift season with the economy going down the crapper.

Grab two or three odd items, slap them together, and then figure out the value added in arty terms. Take a pencil with a broken lead, glue it to a dead calculator, and call your work “Non-Computers.”

There is also xartography. Snap a shot of a blank wall or another generally uniform surface. Don’t spend too much time thinking about the image. If you end up with a dull close-up snapshot, perfect! Remember, a plain plane is the pinnacle of pointlessness. Aren’t both holidays and high art just meaningless in the end? Call your work “Not A Wall.” Print it out on cheap paper. Show it to a college philosophy major and ask his opinion. Watch him drown in his own bullshit.

Yup, xart can entertain you and keep your friends guessing. Just don’t let them know that xart really means excruciatingly bad art.


Doug said...

"All xart is quite useless."
- variation on Oscar Wilde

Ray said...


But zart is eXtremely useless!


X. Dell said...

I don't know. Seems like randomness would in and of itself produce profundity after awhile--for the same reason that a clock that doesn't work at all will have the precise time twice daily.

Besides, the pencil and calculator might be a good conceptual idea.

Ray said...

X. Dell:

You've hit upon the paradox of zart: one needs the talent to be talentless.

What counts is what the artist intends. Of course, there is always that conflict between the artist's intentions and the viewer's perceptions.

Hey, this is getting too philosophical - especially for xart.

Xart is crap. Period.