Monday, October 20, 2008

Chucklehead Leno Mocks CPAP Users

“How is someone supposed to sleep while wearing that stupid thing?”

Jay Leno laughed.

Last week Leno, host of the Tonight Show, was in the middle of his Headlines bit, a segment where he jokes around about various news clippings. Usually Leno yuks it up by targeting bad headline typos, bumbling criminal stories and quack product ads. This time he was commenting about a magazine advertisement for a sleep apnea pillow.

When he mentioned the ad, I assumed he was going to ridicule a dubious product that claimed to treat sleep apnea by itself. Leno held up a photo showing someone sleeping on his side, facing the camera, while wearing a CPAP mask. The pillow was shaped to make it easier for the man to wear the mask, unlike regular pillows.

So what was the problem? From what I saw the pillow was a good design; it should work. Regular pillows are more apt to dislodge the facemask.

But Leno didn’t want to comment on the pillow; he found humor in the mask strapped over the man’s head.

Indeed, how does someone sleep wearing one of those masks? I struggle with that problem every night. Leno, on the other hand, is said to get by on only five hours of sleep. So apnea ain’t his onus.

To pour salt into the wound, Leno pretended to be the man in the ad. Breathing hard, he said: “Hey, wanna have sex?” A Darth Vader reference is such a knee-slapper.

Maybe Leno should go to the hospital and crack jokes about someone in an oxygen tent. That should produce plenty of guffaws.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Raelian Boobs

Here we go again: another salacious news item from Saucer Smear zinester and sextraterrestrial, Jim Moseley.

Sitting next to my computer is a news clipping from the Santa Fe Journal (8/24/08) about a topless protest held in a local park. (I would link to the online version but the SF Journal likes to hide information behind a pay wall. Hey, man, information wants to be free!)

The article by Journal Staff Writer Raam Wong describes how the event unfolded the previous day. It was part of National Go Topless Day, sponsored by alien contactee Rael. Yup, when it comes to sexual controversy, don’t be surprise if Raelians are lurking about. As Rael surely knows, sex sells – or at least makes a good lure.

Fortunately the Raelian web site,, doesn’t hide itself behind a pay wall (unlike a stupid newspaper I won’t name). The site states:

"Our national inaugural Gotopless Day on August 23rd was a great success! We wish to thank all the participants who supported this cause."

Well, it could be argued that in Santa Fe the event didn’t go off as expected. Note the headline in the Santa Fe Journal:

Few Bare All At Topless Protest

What reporter Wong uncovered was that a handful of topless men – and only one woman – got into the spirit of the protest.

One summer a mother and daughter staged their own topless protest at the Plattsburgh City Beach, hanging around sans tops. Local readers were also kept abreast of the event in the local newspaper. The article featured twice the boobs. Ergo, Plattsburgh gave more exposure to the topic than Santa Fe.

So, stripped to its bare essentials, the Santa Fe Topless Protest was a bust.