Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Roswell Crash: The Tragic Shame of Intergalactic Drunk Driving

Image © 2008 Ray X

As you can plainly see from the accompanying true image, I encountered a small sauced spherical saucerer lying in the gutter the other day. This afforded me the rare opportunity to find out what really happened in the Roswell, New Mexico area back in 1947.

The tiny being tried to fly away using his anti-grav bio-field but he kept banging his head (that’s all he had for a body) into the curb. Knowing that for the moment escape was futile, he agreed to a short interview.

The visitor – Ale the Ailing Alien – said he had been kicked out of an UFO for being too rowdy. He was told to “walk” back to Rigel.

Between hiccups, Ale explained that ETs were coming to earth to enjoy the mind-altering pleasures of our alcohol-based concoctions. He explained that Roswell involved a gang of teen offworlders in their hotrod flying saucer who couldn’t handle terran firewater. They had morphed into human form and had hit a few bars across the Southwest before trying to warp back home.

Before I could ask him about rings around Uranus, Ale shot straight up and disappeared.

NOTE: I’ve noticed a disturbing trend lately. Some don’t take me seriously or appreciate my erudite efforts in ascertaining answers to various ufological mysteries. For example, in the latest issue of Saucer Smear zine, James W. Moseley praises the usual pantheon of Mac Tonnies, Paul Kimball, Kevin Randle, Nick Redfern and Greg Bishop. The same list of top UFO bloggers keeps popping up in various places.

Apparently this blogger is slaving away in obscurity. But as the preceding post proves, I offer a perspective unique to UFOdom.

That can’t be argued.

(Now I will sit in my corner and sulk.)


Mac said...

Don't despair! Your contribution is very appreciated.

Doug said...

Ray, you do it for the love, not for the glory. Those other guys are just UFO media whores.

You're better than that.

As I keep telling myself: To be popular you must be mediocre.

X. Dell said...

Screw Saucer Smear.

Better yet, the next time you see a bunch of horny, teenaged EBEs, just itching to drink and mingle, tell them the party's at Redfern's place.

Ray said...


ThanX for the encouragement but I'm afraid I'm back in my lonely corner, sulking. UFO provocateur(s) recently listed Regan Lee, Moulton Howe, etc. as the UFO proletariat. I didn't make the list.


I don't even make the media whore list.

X. Dell:

Screw Saucer Smear? With all the enemies Supreme Commander Moseley has made over the years, I'll pass. I hate standing in line. [G]